Welcome to DipNight: Where those in a 'relationship transition' find new friends
By Sandi Kahn Shelton, Register Staff
08/18/2008
GUILFORD — DipNight started — how else? — with a dip. It was, in fact, a Mexican dip that two newly divorced women shared one Friday night in 2004 when they got together with their kids to hang out. They'd both recently been left by their husbands and were devastated.
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That little bowl of dip, made with layers of cream cheese, salsa and Monterrey Jack cheese, has since become the symbol and centerpiece of the new business created by one of those lonely moms, Jules Gaughran-Etes of Guilford.DipNight.com, she says, provides a place for divorced and widowed people to get together to find new friends and to get their social lives back on track.The first Friday night DipNights took place from 5-7 p.m. each week at Gaughran-Etes's house, and pretty soon, between 40 and 50 people were showing up, bringing food, wine and kids."Kids played in the pool, and we all mingled, and it was great fun," she says.Now, four years later, DipNight.com has been reborn as her business: a combination monthly meeting, educational forum, party, support group and networking opportunity. Since last September, Gaughran-Etes has been providing food, friendship and often guest speakers to people in "relationship transition" who come to her house on the third Thursday of each month."People who are going through the throes of divorce or a breakup, or people who have just been widowed, can just feel so lost," says Gaughan-Etes. "They don't want to go to bars, but they need somewhere to go where they can start to rebuild their social lives, where they don't feel like they've done something wrong, and where they can be accepted, and even get advice and education."She ought to know. Gaughran-Etes says that in the summer of 2004, she had what she calls the perfect life: a great husband, two children, a dream home, a family business and plenty of friends. "In a 90-day period, all that changed," she says. "My husband met someone else and left me. My parents were both diagnosed with cancer. My 4-year-old daughter had to have surgery for sleep apnea. By the time September came, everything had completely changed. If the old saying is true that what you survive makes you stronger, then I should be the Incredible Hulk at this point."Today, she's committed to reaching out to people who are in that same state of confusion she experienced. "In addition to providing a place where people can just get together and have fun, each month we also have a speaker who can offer assistance with some aspect of our lives."Topics include: exercise, nutrition, finances, children's adjustments, and real estate education. At the meeting coming up on Thursday, Gaughran-Etes says there will be a tarot card reader, coming by popular request. "In September, we'll get back to serious subjects," she says with a smile. "That's when we'll meet with a financial planner to talk about the best way to invest money."Over 75 people have signed up online to become members of DipNight.com. The cost is $49 for a six-month membership, or $99 for a year, and includes: monthly social gatherings, e-mail notifications of social events, access to a social network of friendships and professional services, a membership card with a tote bag and a bracelet. "We're a very positive group," says Gaughran-Etes. "We're not here to bash our exes or to stay stuck. The whole point of the group is to move forward, and to share with each other. Occasionally somebody cries, but we surround that person with support and help them find their way back to what's good in their lives."Eileen Jowett of Guilford has been coming to the meetings from the beginning, and she says they're lots of fun. "I'm happily married," she says, "but I was divorced 15 years ago, and I remember the pain of that. I come to the meetings to offer support and friendship to the women who are there, and I've made some great friends. Jules has created such a positive place and so much fun. It's incredible what she's created."DipNight.com's members are overwhelmingly female, but Gaughran-Etes says that men do occasionally join and have a good time."The first man who joined is now getting together with other men and planning to start his own support network for them," she says. She might even give him the recipe for the Mexican dip.Contact Sandi Kahn Shelton at sandishelton@comcast.net.
